Kids Are Presence Leaders

Hello fellow parents! I wanted to share an epiphany I had regarding empathy and self-compassion.

 

I have been working on being 100% present.  So, when I am at work, I am 100% focused on work.  When I am with my child at piano lessons, I am not thinking about what to make for dinner, or even what happened in the car on the way to the class.  Wherever I am, I am focused on that thing.  It is very challenging and I am frustrated with myself and my constant need to think about the next 6 things.

Then, it hit me.  Kids are naturally present beings.  In fact, they are SO present that it is one of the things that drives adults crazy.  For example, we get angry that they are "unable" to manage their time effectively.  The truth is, you cannot be 100% present AND also be paying attention to the time.  Some percentage has to be thinking about the end, even if 1%. You simply cannot effectively transition from one task to another without being mindful of time AND the next task.  

So, now, rather than the goal for myself being 100% presence, which is not a recipe for success at all to my mind, I am trying to be as present as I can be.  What a difference an attainable and reasonable goal can make!  That's the self-compassion part.  

And, now I try to view my child's challenge with planning as evidence of his incredible capacity to be present.  It's a super power that adults are working to get back to, and we are angry with them for it being so easy.  Now his goal is to work on being more mindful of time and what's next (as opposed to having anxiety throughout the day).  It's unreasonable to expect perfection, and it just sets them up for failure.  We are on opposite sides of the same coin.  We both need to work on balancing presence with planning.  So, that's where the empathy comes in.

Sometimes it's hard to differentiate the teacher from the student...

I hope this makes sense to someone other than me!